I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up. Votes: 14
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. Votes: 12
I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference. Votes: 6
Too old to die young, and too young to grow up. Votes: 5
Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act. Votes: 5
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. Votes: 4
The pen is mightier than the sword, and is considerably easier to write with. Votes: 4
It could be worse... It could be raining Votes: 3
Money can't buy poverty. Votes: 2
You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend. Votes: 2
He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta. Votes: 0
Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians. Votes: 0
I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though. Votes: 0
I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did. Votes: 0
Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules. Votes: 0