I think it's quite extraordinary that people cast me as if I'm Warren Beatty: until I met my present wife, at the age of 35, you could name two girlfriends. Votes: 1
I lost a girlfriend when I was in my 30s. She was 46. It all sounds so trite, but I put a Post-it on my dressing-room wall. It said, 'The past is history. The future is a mystery. This moment is a gift, which is why it's called the present.' Votes: 1
I cried when my ex-girlfriend sent me a text message saying how much she liked my present to her. Votes: 0
My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. Votes: 0
My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present. Votes: 0
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. Votes: 7 Mitch Hedberg
For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Votes: 3 C. S. Lewis